Neither of us
can remember exactly when we first met; time can be horribly corrosive of
memory.
It was,
however, sometime in 1980. Norma was a supporter of the World Wildlife Fund (now
known as the World Wide Fund for Nature) in
Bury, Lancashire and I was Regional Controller for the Fund in the North of
England.
Norma’s
enthusiasm for conservation led her to form a local Support Group in Bury (she
became Chairman). Later that year, when I was looking for a team of Regional
Assistants to cover the area, Norma became the natural choice to look after Greater
Manchester because of her delightful manner, her charisma, her ability to relate
to all types of people and her undoubted organising abilities.
So we worked
together until 1983. During that time I think we were both aware of a mutual
attraction; there were glances, shared amusement at particular circumstances,
perhaps once our hands may have touched and there was certainly a feeling of
warmth and companionship when we talked. But we did nothing about it; we were
both married and had young children – in the 1980’s one didn’t do "that sort of
thing" – or at least, we didn’t! (We have now mutually acknowledged
the attraction; but have also mutually acknowledged that if either of us had
voiced it at the time, then the other would probably have run a mile, out of
fear at what we might unleash!)
Time moved on;
I left World Wildlife in 1983 and Norma took over a bigger area in the North of
England for WWF. By that time we were
both facing difficulties in our marriages. We met twice more in the 1980’s but
neither of us can easily recall these occasions; our respective problems blanked them
out, but I do remember a friend (present when Norma and I met in 1988) saying,
"She really fancies you – you ought to do something about it".
Do something?
Norma was a very special and true friend – but surely she wouldn’t be interested
in me as a partner?
By this stage,
Norma’s marriage had ended; her husband leaving her for another woman. My
marriage was in difficulties and in 1998 my wife left me for someone else.
Norma and I
kept in touch as friends; our careers marched unwittingly in parallel. We both
worked for the Hospice movement in the 1990’s (Norma in Basingstoke whilst I was
based in Rochdale) and later, when I was working for an animal rescue
organisation in Merseyside, Norma was working as a volunteer for a cat
protection group in Cornwall.
We exchanged
Christmas cards and kept one another up-to-date with life changes. We both had
other relationships – none of them ultimately worked but, as we told one another
about them, we individually felt saddened that perhaps we would not be
together as a couple, despite that initial mutual attraction.
And then, in
October 2009, an unlikely matchmaker emerged; my daughter Lizzie, working as
a social worker in Bristol, invited me to spend part of the Christmas period
with her.
Norma and I had
spoken on the phone a couple of times in the months preceding this invitation
and, in some way, these conversations brought us closer together more than any previous
chats had done. We were still (in our own minds) just two old friends, but I was
certainly beginning to wonder if there could be more than that.
After Lizzie’s
invitation I sat on my thoughts for a week and a half before daring to ring
Norma.
"I’m in Bristol
just after Christmas; it’s not too far away from Cornwall – do you fancy meeting
up for a meal?" (My heart was in my mouth – was I risking the loss of a dear
friend by assuming or hoping that there might be more around the corner?)
"That would be
lovely – but why not come down to Cornwall for a couple of days?"
We started to
exchange emails; initially just planning my visit but gradually extending into
more personal thoughts.
We talked on
the phone – again, the conversations turned more and more to wonderment (and got
longer and longer) as we both, for the first time ever, acknowledged that there
was a mutual attraction.
Even though we
had not met for over 20 years, even though we had never held hands or kissed; we
both knew we were, at last, falling in love.
A mammoth
five-hour telephone conversation sealed things for both of us; we did love one
another, we wanted to be together, we wanted to marry. And none of this came
about by either of us "pushing" the other. It emerged – gradually, delightfully
and wonderfully, as if some other power was taking us to a safe and happy haven
together.
There were,
perhaps, a few mutual doubts – how had we changed over the years? Could we
bridge those lost years? Would there be a physical attraction? Would there be
a "spark"?
Those doubts
totally disappeared on 29 December 2009 when we met again for the
first time in over 20 years. Our first kiss was electric – so were those that
followed.
The following
day while visiting Mousehole (in Cornwall) to see the town's famous Christmas
lights,
I proposed, "You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever known; please will you
marry me?"
I will never
forget Norma's response, "Darling, I’ve
been in love with you for over 30 years; of course I will!"
As we plan our
new life together it just gets better each day; neither of us has ever felt
before what we are feeling now for one another.
Initially we
had set Easter 2010 as our target to be together but, after the first couple
of times in the company of each other, we realised that we couldn’t and didn’t
want to wait so
long.
Then that
"other power" intervened again; my estate agent advised that I should move out
of my house and sell it as an empty property with vacant possession on completion.
Such a major help in moving things forward! Then, our helpful removal man told us he was
fully booked in April but .... he did have a few clear days in the first week of
March!!
So, to the
delight of friends and families, we will be together from the beginning of March
and we will marry, in Cornwall, on 19 June 2010.
All our old
friends from World Wildlife days are overjoyed for us; none are surprised –
"It’s about time" said one, perhaps stating what was obvious to everyone but us
in the 1980’s.
"It’s like a
fairytale", said another friend, "You ought to write it down".
So I
have……………….
I admit that
tears rolled down my face when I first read 'Our Story'. Everything George
has written is so true and real; not for one moment did I think that eventually
I would marry 'My Boss' - even though I secretly hoped!!
After so many
years of feeling alone, I am now experiencing true happiness. It had always
haunted me how marriage break-ups not only affect the couple concerned but
family and friends too - the aftermath is almost unbearable.
But it was my
experience in Lourdes (which lit up my path to
Cornwall and helped me to find true love) that told me about the work of a guiding
hand. For us, there is definitely some kind of spiritual connection, an energy
which we cannot explain or prove.
I did not
expect George to ask me if I would like to marry in Church but I am so delighted
that he did. We have found our 'dream' Church and a wonderful wedding is now
being planned. In front of God, with our family and friends, we can mend the
past with true love.
Yes, it does
sound like a fairy tale but this is so real. Soon you will be able to read more
of our news when our 'Wedding Page' is ready to go online.
Until then,
please follow your dreams, however remote they may seem. We are proving that
nothing is impossible - just listen to your heart and reach out for the one you
love. It is the most wonderful feeling in the whole world.
