Throughout my life
one of my dreams was a yearning to go to Lourdes. I cannot explain why; all
I knew was that, for some unknown reason, I was receiving a 'call' to go and
visit.
I have watched a
video of the
film 'The Song of Bernadette' many
times and experienced a 'tingling' sensation
on each occasion. No other film has ever had this effect on me but I wondered
whether it was simply my imagination playing games.
In 1999 my dream
came true; I had the opportunity to go to Lourdes with a group of people
from a local church. I did not worship there; indeed I am of a different faith. I
discussed my feelings with several friends and
clergy, the outcome of which was the advice to go with a completely open mind.
"Let Lourdes come to you", said a good friend. I
did very little research so that I did not have any pre-conceived ideas before
my visit. My only background knowledge was the film; yet I was confused and did
not know why. I tried to imagine what I would see - the image in my mind was of
dark Grotto and I saw myself walking into it. It was wet and slippery and I was
carrying a child. Was I actually dreaming? It was like the picture above which
is the Grotto St Bernadette would have known. Did this picture come from the
film or not? I decided to follow the advice given rather than wrestle with a
growing number of questions.
As I stepped from the
aeroplane at Lourdes Airport the atmosphere felt totally different
from any of my previous visits to places in the United Kingdom or abroad. I had
the distinct feeling of 'déjà-vu' but I tried to put this to the back of my
mind. I had not been anywhere near The Pyrenees before now; I decided my
imagination really was playing tricks!
I
spent five wonderful days in Lourdes and its surrounds with most exceptional
friends. I met others from
all over the world and I witnessed the
awe-inspiring faith of some very sick people who were not expecting
miracles. One plucky lad was carried onto the aeroplane on a stretcher (and this
was not an isolated case).
They were there to give thanks for life and the smiles
on their faces taught me more than a thousand words ever could.
I
began to feel a little
embarrassed with my
reaction in Lourdes, but
at
no time was I humiliated
with the way I felt. Every person, local or
otherwise, treated me as a
friend. It was
awe-inspiring in that I
found I was really able to
be 'me' and not have to
put on an act because they
appeared to expect something else.
One
of the feast-days given to
St Bernadette by The
Faithful is held on April
16, the day of her death.
This was to be the first
of the many areas of
'coincidence' I found. My
birthday is April 16 - out
of 365 days in a year this
is the one!
For
me, the visit was a revelation. There were far too many areas of coincidence to
consider; these feelings
could not all be a pigment of my imagination. "There is no such
thing as coincidence", said another friend. Then there was another instance
when, to the concern of those around me, I looked as though I had seen a ghost
and was in a state of total shock!
Yet I felt so very safe.
I
have not discovered any conclusive explanation for any of my experiences or
feelings. However, I do not believe any of it was due to vivid imagination. I
did not experience a vision but certainly there was some kind of mysterious
'aura'. I felt the same sensation of tingling when in Lourdes as I do when
watching the film, but I am unable to explain anything.
However,
I have had many email messages
since I first wrote this
from people who have
experienced the same kind
of emotions who, like me,
cannot find any feasible
explanation. All I do
know, however, is that
whilst I was in Lourdes I
had an urge to leave my
job and remove to another
location 300 km away.
This
I did and it was by far
the best decision I have
ever made. Call it
coincidence if you like,
but I had not considered the
possibility of moving, even though I
had always wanted to live
in the area where I am
now. My health is better,
I am told I look younger
and life is great again.
Until Lourdes, moving
house, happiness and the
'feel good' factor were
pipe dreams.
Lourdes
did come to me; my life
changed and my outlook is
now much more positive. I
could not have done this
without some kind of
energy to guide me;
probably there will never
be an explanation that
will satisfy all of us.
Even when I update this page I experience feelings that
do not happen elsewhere. Today is no exception and I suddenly
feel emotional; I am saying, "Thank You". It is over ten years since my visit. I do
wish I could interpret why this page in particular means something different
each time I read it. And no, it is not my imagination or a dream. It is
definitely some kind of spiritual connection. I know that now; here's why.
At the end of 2009I fell deeply in love with 'My Boss' of thirty
years ago; we married on 19 June 2010. Now I am convinced that there
is spiritual guidance, especially when you
listen to your heart, reach out for your dreams and believe.
Please
keep on sending your
views; they are
fascinating and exciting,
particularly if your life
has changed since you
visited Lourdes.
A 'Light a Candle' Memorial is available for you too:
If you would like to light a candle in memory of
Our Lady, St Bernadette, a
loved one (or loved ones), please
email me with the name(s) and, if appropriate, the
dates, a message and URL if you have one.
